Alternative history!

THE PILGRIM RAP!

(A parody of Empire State of Mind by JayZ and Alicia Keyes))

We're the pilgrim fathers
You may have heard rather
A lot 'bout our notions
Crossing the ocean
On the good ship Mayflower
But it's true our journey
Turned into quite a commotion.

People report that we sported these hats
But that's not true, I mean, would you?
Anyway the main thing to say
We began the USA
Our little band of religion fans
From the East Midlands.

We all believed slowly
That England was becoming less holy
So set off for Holland
'Cos there we had friends
But in the end seemed the Netherlands
Would never be the land, we planned.

Couldn't stand to remain on that terrain
So again we rearranged
To start a new nation with our congregation
A new and calmer life took a farmer and a builder and his wife
And a clerica, to find America.

Oh it's a new world
It wasn't new to the natives
Still we thought we'd claim it
Yeah, it's the new world.

I still remember 9th of November
The year 1620 and we saw plenty of land
We thanked God when we found ground
I kept calm but it didn't go as planned.

Couldn't land on the sand
A month later though, we made it
New Plymouth man, we claimed it
The natives said not
But ran when we shot.

Moved there it proved yeah
That life would be tough
'Cos we didn't have enough
Of the right stuff.
Did you know had no seeds we could grow
Although William Mullins had stacked
126 pairs of shoes in his pack
Now that's whack.

A fishing rod, a plough,
A pig, or a cow
Would have been a much better idea
But now there's no food for us to eat
Does this mean that we'll meet with de feet!

No fun in the new world
I'm glad we've arrived here
But will we survive here
Yeah, in the new world.

People were staving
Our numbers halving
And when the winter winds blew
Even fewer live through
It wasn't pretty in our new city
But the natives took pity even though
They didn't have to.

Man called Squanto
Showed us how to grow maize
Catch eel for a meal
Chopped up in the baze
Tribe gave us a feast
Our starvation ceased
In 1621 what they had done
Turned us back from the dead
To the living and to this day
That's why we have thanks-giving.

In Massachusetts built a colony it's true
They say modern America was founded by our crew
It's a new world
But we can't call it England
Let's call it New England
Yeah, in the world.

My home was in Plymouth
Lets call it New Plymouth
I got an idea let's call this New Hampshire
Wait I'm from Newcastle
Can we call it New Newcastle?
Nah!
It's a new world.